why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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