bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
