yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize