You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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