She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
