just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
