You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
