So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
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I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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