i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
