walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
