I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
