he thought i was a dude.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
