Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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