that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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