Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My pussy is not your playground.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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