I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
