people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
