I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
