It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
