What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
