You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize