are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
