i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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