I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i came on her dog
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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