kristin has been a bad kristin
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
