i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
