i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
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were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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