He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
