My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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