Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
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I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
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if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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