I skipped work to stalk him.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
