I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
