Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
