My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
