he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
