Just cropdusted the office
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Randomize
