Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
