you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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