The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
