And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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