You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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