Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
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either way he was missing a nipple.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
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All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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