how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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