Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
