I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
