no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize