One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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