it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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