you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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