Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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