U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
