I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
