Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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