Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
