You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
