If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
