dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
