I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize