my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
