she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
