we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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