You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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