She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
