dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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