We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
