Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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