He had one of those small greek statue penises
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
