Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
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this boner is exhausting
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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