Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Operation Purity has been aborted
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage