i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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