Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot

(586): View more from Michigan

That was very cool/italian of you

(586): View more from Michigan

Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving

Fav 11 2241 1110
share tweet
(651): View more from Minnesota

I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.

Fav 33 1075 7255
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch

(1-631): View more from New York

that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her

Fav 28 1486 6406
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even

Fav 14 3537 1678
share tweet
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+61): View more from Australia

he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms

Fav 14 2061 927
share tweet
(641): View more from Iowa

Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well

Fav 6 1078 928
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(369): View more from California

Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?

Fav 7 979 1325
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.

Fav 3 665 826
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(704): View more from North Carolina

his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious

Fav 0 129 178
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT