Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
this boner is exhausting
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.