Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.