Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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